~ Margaret Cho
Yeah....Lawgirl did something that she hadn't done in 4 years - went out and drank. She was stupid and went with Fitzwilliam to clubs and such. She has a very very very bad headache and hangover. She is just getting out of bed. She will write more later.
The Presidential Race
Now, if you know Lawgirl, you know that I have never voted in my entire life. I registered to vote for the first time a couple of years ago, but haven't done so. It wasn't until after Bush was re-elected and the gay marriage amendment passed that I truly became interested in politics. Before, I couldn't have cared less; I lived my life the way I wanted to and didn't really give a fig about things in DC.
However, the plight of others around me started to seep into my consciousness and I couldn't ignore Washington anymore. So this brings us up to the first Presidential election in which Lawgirl will vote in. And what are her thoughts??
Well, I don't think that we should elect someone just because of their sex or their color. I will be improper and say that age DOES matter to me; someone who is in his or her mid-50s has more appeal to me than someone who was born before WWII. I feel that they have more in common with me.
Is the United States ready for a black or female president? Honestly, it breaks my heart that we even still consider those factors. It shows me how far we have to go yet. Why we bother to have things like political parties is beyond me. It should be the best possible person for the job, not based on his or her party, gender, or race.
Americans pride themselves on being so progressive, but we won't elect a President without a Caucasian penis. We say that we're united, but we are so individualistic that we allow our people to go without healthcare while we support people from countries in which we were not born. We proclaim our freedom, but limit those freedoms to a chosen few.
Coach and I had a rough weekend, but it ended on a high note. We are still talking and even though we are resigned to the idea that we're not going to go further in this relationships, we still adore each other. We had planned to get together Saturday night, after I returned from visiting Mom, but he backed out and said, it would re-kindle feelings. And even though I agreed, I was really disappointed.
All I could think about was the scene in My Best Friend's Wedding, where Julia Roberts says, We had this one hot month and then he looks at me and says, what makes me want to cry is that I'm losing my best friend. And that's how I feel about Coach and I think in many ways, he feels about me. We've had two months with really incredible intimacy on many levels and have realized that we're in different places. But we still love being friends and I would hate, HATE to lose this friendship. We talk multiple times a day every day.
Last night was no exception. We were having a conversation about the two dates I went on this weekend - one absolutely ridiculously horrible and one okay. And then I asked him, have you met the love of your life yet? And he said, yes, it's my best friend's wife. She broke up with his best friend when they were younger, dated Coach for awhile, but she was still in love with his best friend and he knew it. So he let her go, she went back to his best friend and they've been married ever since.
He said that he really loved his wife, that she is a good mother and a good woman, but that a piece of him kept saying, this isn't the woman you want. And I can't decide, is he holding on to something that he shouldn't or is it really just the way it is? Do you only get one shot at that perfect love? I don't know; I tend to believe that we have multiple chances at finding the love of our lives. I would hope so. I still feel that NETboy was one of mine, but I know that relationship can never be, even if I wanted it to at this point.
Anyway, that conversation led to him saying that he's never told anyone else that except for his sister, who committed suicide about 20 years ago. And there are several things that he and I have discussed which he has said, gosh, I never tell anyone this. He helped me get through NETboy. He was there in every way. He really has become one of my dearest friends and I hope that we never lose that.
Now, as to the date Saturday night. Wow. 37-year-old man.
1. He lives with his mom. Now, there are some rough times going on financially for everyone right now and without my new job, I would be in the same position. So, I can't find fault with this one. But....
2. He also hasn't had a job in awhile. Like 2-3 years.
3. He corresponded by phone and letter with this girl in Louisiana for 4 years. Last year, he went down to meet her and was disappointed to find that she wasn't the person he thought she was. That didn't stop him from sleeping with her..
4. And she's having his baby at the end of October. However, he won't go down and help...
5. Because she's living with her parents and he doesn't want to move in with them.
6. He does recreational drugs.
7. He was diagnosed as bipolar for lying down in an intersection one day. He was taken to a 48 hour psych lockup and that's what they diagnosed him with. He doesn't agree. He calls it "street art."
Yeah, not seeing him again. Ever.
The date last night was not too bad. Nice guy, but too young - 28. Someone who flunked out of college, went back at 23 and STILL was in the fraternity...and sort of still acts like it. Back to the drawing board.
This is real fun to do! The only catch is that you cant ask the person who posted it anything about it! :)
Just read the "offense" and if you've done it, you owe that fine.
Keep going until you've read each "offense" and added up your total fine.
Title your bulletin "My Bar Tab is$........"
You don't have to confess your answers, just the amount of your fine.
THE TOTAL YOU CAN GET IS ........ $2,120
Smoked pot -- $10
Did acid -- $15
Ever had sex at church -- $25
Woke up in the morning and did not know the person who was next to you-- $40
Had sex with someone on MySpace -- $25
Had sex for money -- $100
Ever had sex with a Asian -- $20
Vandalized something -- $20
Had sex on your parents' bed -- $10
Beat up someone -- $20
Been jumped -- $10
Crossed dressed -- $10
Given money to stripper -- $25
Been in love with a stripper -- $20
Kissed some one who's name you didn't know --$10
Hit on some one of the same sex while at work-- $15
Ever drive drunk -- $20
Ever got drunk at work, or went to work while still drunk -- $50
Used toys while having sex -- $30
Got drunk, passed out and don't remember the night before -- $20
Went skinny dipping -- $5
Had sex in a pool -- $20
Kissed someone of the same sex -- $10
Had sex with someone of the same sex -- $20
Cheated on your significant other -- $10
Masturbated -- $5
Cheated on your significant other with their relative or close friend --$20
Done oral -- $5
Got oral -- $5
Done / got oral in a car while it was moving-- $25
Stole something -- $10
Had sex with someone in jail -- $25
Made a nasty home video -- $25
Had a threesome -- $50
Had sex in the wild -- $20
Been in the same room while someone was having sex -- $25
Stole something worth over more than a hundred dollars -- $20
Had sex with someone 10 years older -- $20
Had sex with someone under 21 and you are over 27 -- $25
Been in love with two people or more at the same time -- $50
Said you love someone but didn't mean it -- $25
Went streaking -- $5
Went streaking in broad daylight -- $15
Been arrested -- $10
Spent time in jail -- $15
Played spin the bottle -- $5
Done something you regret -- $20
Had sex with your best friend -- $20
Had sex with someone you work with at work --$25
Had anal sex -- $80
Lied to your mate -- $5
Lied to your mate about the sex being good --$25
Tally it up and Title it..."My Bar Tab Is"
Lawgirl here. Sorry that it's been so long since I've posted.
I am still loving the new job. Part of the problem is, I don't know that I love the job so much or my coworkers, especially one in particular. We have hit it off right away. We like the same movies and shows and such and have the same sense of humor. We finish each other's sentences. But he is actually the person whom I'm replacing, as he is moving back to his home state for family reasons. So, in about a month, I lose this wonderful coworker. I hope that I still love the job after that.
This is National Singles Week, and I celebrated by dumping Coach. Well, I shouldn't say it like that. The problem is simple: we are in different places right now. He was married for 20 years and wants his freedom - I get that. I think that he is in love with me, but he is more in love with his freedom. I, however, want more. It's not as though I want him to move in or propose or anything. It's just that I would like to be his priority, not just his option. While I think that he honestly thinks that he's making me a priority, I don't feel that way. I only ask for one night a week and he will make plans, then tell me at 8 or so that he was busy doing something with the other coaches, blah blah blah. So, I told him last night that we could be friends, but that's it. He's upset, but he will live.
Financially, I am drained. I had hoped to continue to renting a car for awhile, but Enterprise lies and says that they have low monthly rates.....yeah, not so much. The rate is the same as their weekly rate, which works out to about $600/month. Oh yeah, that will go up on the customer service blog soon. As soon as I found that out, I gave up the rental and have been using my mom's car, which leaves her without a vehicle. And of course, this also allows her to say what she wants to, to lay on guilt trips left and right. I will have to find a new car soon, but I don't get paid until next Thursday.
So that leaves me also without an option to move right now. I can't afford a downpayment on a car as well as movers and the deposit on the apartment. And I think, gee, would be nice to have that money back from NETboy and The Sergeant. Oh well. That's a pipe dream that will never come true.
In general though, I am happy and healthy.
Singles Are Happy Being Single Yahoo! Personals Survey Finds
National Singles Week survey says singles believe they are more adventurous and in better physical shape than their married friends
By Rad Dewey Yahoo! Personals Updated: Sep 18, 2007
Singles are seeing their lives as more of an adventure.
The 10 Best Things About Being Single By Wendy Bolton Floyd and Judy Bolton Special to Yahoo! Personals Updated: Sep 18, 2007
Who are you looking at? 
Party Of One By Julia Allison Special to Yahoo! Personals Updated: Sep 18, 2007
You've no doubt already planned several rollicking events, probably involving whipped cream and speed dating. Singles are the only people who DON'T need permission to go enjoy themselves! I'll get to the title in a moment, but let me give you some updates about life in general.
The week at work finished out very well. I still love the job and am very excited about all of the opportunities for growth. I really love my boss already. She is just a year older than I am, but has been lucky enough to earn a ton of certifications through her other positions. I'm excited to learn what she has to teach me.
Coach and I are doing pretty well and we were able to spend some time together this week. We were supposed to spend yesterday together but he has the cold/sinus infection that I had last week (hmmm, now how did THAT happen?). Poor guy. And he works so hard, too. I know he won't take any time off to feel better.
Friday evening, Fitzwilliam texted me and asked if I would accompany him out that night. Now, Lawgirl is not a bar-type person at all. I don't drink, as alcoholism runs in my family and I don't want to start that. Plus, after awhile, when you're the sober one, the drunk people are just not funny anymore. At all. However, as Lawgirl was bored and Fitzwilliam was willing to pay for dinner, I decided that I would go.
I went and picked him up, so that I could be his DD. Yes, I think he's dumb for still drinking after he drove drunk and then was in a coma for 3 days after his accident. But, I am not responsible for his behavior and thus moved on. So, I picked him up and was a half hour late doing so because I was having trouble deciding what to wear to a bar. Haven't been to one in forever, not sure what to wear.
Finally, picked up Fitzwilliam and in the time that he's been waiting for me, he has had 4 beers and a shot. Greeeat. He is loud and humming with energy. So, we leave and I say, where are we going? 3 times he gives me the wrong directions and I have to turn around.
We finally go to one place and we settle in. However, he decides that we are leaving in 2 minutes. So we head to his favorite bar. Now we're going to settle in. The majority of the evening involves this conversation: How he cannot believe that I don't find him attractive, because all women do.
Truly, I took it with a lot of laughter and this was highly amusing to me. I brought out my points about how he is just the previous men in my life in a prettier package. He objects that he is not using me for money, and that part is true. However, I say, you have daddy issues - he objects to this; I say, you have trust issues with women - he objects to this; and the drinking thing - he can't fight that one.
He tells me that I have issues as well - I tell him, duh!!! I have never said I was perfect, but I am trying to make my life better by not repeating mistakes. He doesn't enjoy being called a mistake and I understand that, but I point out that the one time we tried to fool around, it was not great. We don't have the chemistry.
While we're at the bar, I try to assist him in picking up women. I mean, I was supposed to be the wing person. So, I start point out women I think he would like. He rejects them all, stating that they're all taken as he hangs out here a lot. So, I look and there is a redheaded server. I point her out and he says, yes she's cute, but I don't know anything about her. So when our bartender comes back over I ask him about her. Fitzwilliam is immediately embarrassed. I said, no, I'm helping. :-)
We find out that the redhead is involved with someone. I then ask about another girl and the bartender doesn't know anything about her. Once the bartender leaves our area, Fitzwilliam tells me that he doesn't need help. I said, um, yeah, you're here with me and I've stated that I'm not interested, so you need to find someone.
An older man come and sits down next to me....even though there are some empty chairs nearby. Now, Coach is older and that's fine, but this guy had the whole white hair and everything. Anyway, Fitzwilliam says that he is going to do the same thing to me and ask this guy if he's interested. I said, you do, and you'll be finding another way to get your happy ass home.
Every time Fitzwilliam goes to the bathroom, White Hair Guy strikes up a conversation. When Fitzwilliam sees this after his 2nd trip, he comes back and put his hands on me. He rubs my shoulders and then puts his hands in my hair. I said, whoooa, possessive much??? He wants me to drink some. I said, I'm sure you do, but not going to.
After we finish eating and Fitzwilliam finishes 2 beers and a mudslide, he decides that we need to go back to his place so that he can change for the girl we're meeting at 10 (well, he's meeting her, I'm just along for the ride). I said, yes, you need to change because he is wearing his usual sleeveless shirt and a pair of shorts. I said, do you own a shirt with sleeves? He said, what do you mean? I said, well, the pit hair is not exactly the most attractive thing ever. He said, well, I don't get to wear these much longer, as it's getting colder. I said, how about never, can we try never on these shirts again? Yes, you have great arms, but do we need to show them off all of the time? He said, I don't get it, you're the only one who doesn't like them. I said, riiiight.
We go to his place (by now, it's 11pm). Once we get there, he says, I don't want to go out anymore. I said, okay, now what? He says, let's just stay here and watch a movie. Okay....the problem with this is that Fitzwilliam has an efficiency and he only has a bed, not a couch. So, no matter what, he gets you into bed, lol. He makes several overtures and I said, do you see how my arms are not moving toward you and how I'm not responding to you? We both fall asleep and I woke up at 2 and went home.
When I woke up, we were snuggled up together and it was....nice. And that is from where the title of the post comes. Being away from NETboy and with Coach not being able to spend the nights most times because of work....I really miss the other side of the bed being filled up with someone. It's so hard to sleep alone once you haven't, even when you know it's for the best.
I miss the warmth of having someone there, the sounds of breathing and even the sounds of snoring. I miss the snuggling and the cuddling. I think that's been the absolute worst part of being alone - the empty side of the bed. If I were staying in Cleveland, I think that I would invite Fitzwilliam to move in to my other bedroom and as long as neither of us were in relationships, we could sleep in the same bed for the snuggle factor alone. No, not for sex; I don't feel that way about him. Just for the snuggling and cuddling. I miss that the most.
No matter how great the day was, the empty side of the bed is still there.
10 Fatal Online Dating Errors
Mistakes that men make
By David Wygant Special to Yahoo! Personals Updated: Sep 16, 2007
Instead of harassing her, relax and be confident that she's going to respond to you. Ask her if she'd like to exchange more pictures Many of my women clients have complained to me about men who will email them several times a day Lawgirl here and I am SO sorry for ignoring you all week. Currently, I can't access my home email or blog or anything from work. I think that will rectify itself when I get into my own office and can bring in my laptop. At the moment, though, I only have access to my business email. We're not supposed to have cell phones at our desks (at least not out on our desks) and such, so I can't really call folks right now, either. So, I apologize for not being available, but we'll hopefully work around some of these technological glitches soon.
Anywho, life is good, love the job, things with Coach are good, and that's all I know for now.
Smooches!!
~ Aristotle
Hi all. Sorry it's taken me so long to post about the new job. Well, I LOVE it!!! Everyone has been so kind and welcoming. My boss and the HR recruiter with whom I'd worked came and found me in Orientation and hugged me and welcomed me into the department. The other trainers and HR folks each took me aside and told me that they had wanted me to be hired from day one.
It's all very sweet and wonderful - which of course also translates into me feeling a lot of pressure to live up to my apparent hype. Also, there were 11 other folks in my orientation group and I was singled out over and over, because I would soon be one of the trainers and HR group. I felt badly for the rest of the folks. It was all done with a lot of sweetness toward me; I just felt that the rest were left out.
Today I was taken out to lunch by a higher up along with my boss and coworker. We discussed a few plans that needed to be implemented. Tomorrow I have back to back meetings with department head and partners, and the same on Thursday. Friday is an all day training meeting. This month I will probably spend more time in Cleveland than in Columbus. My boss is in Cleveland and it's a little easier for her to do the training here. I'm pretty flexible, so I don't mind.
All in all, I really love the people so far. There are lots of areas for improvement in training, but my boss has only been there for a month and has some great ideas as well. The only downside is that at this point, I can't get online or use my cellphone most of the day. So I do miss all of you.
~ General Douglas Macarthur
From Lawgirl: The greatest gift I received this week was getting an IM yesterday from a friend who is in Iraq. This gentleman is someone whom I met last year and is truly a wonderful human being. I knew he was on his way back to Iraq in either April or May and had not heard from him since. He IM'd yesterday to say that he was okay and that he hoped to get back to the USA in January. I certainly hope he and our other service folks make it back safely. Whenever I encounter members of our armed forces, I thank them for what they have been willing to do, so that I and others, well, frankly, don't have to. Where would we be if no one as willing to take on this task?
Today, thank all of those who take the oath to protect us - members of the armed services, the police force (yes, even those jerks in the NoRo PoPo), and the firemen. LG.
By Alexandra MarksMon Sep 10, 4:00 AM ET
On Sept. 11, Jacob Sundberg of San Antonio has pledged to make eye contact and smile at everyone he meets. Kaitlin Ulrich will bring goody baskets to the police and fire departments in and around Philadelphia. And 100 volunteers from New York – 9/11 firefighters and family members among them – are going to Groesbeck, Texas, to rebuild a house destroyed by a tornado last December.
This is a minute sampling of the hundreds of thousands of people who have pledged to memorialize those killed on 9/11 by doing something good for others.
The heroic acts of all those killed trying to save others that September morning has spawned a growing grass-roots movement. The goal is to ensure that future generations remember not just the horror of the attacks, but also the extraordinary outpouring of humanity during the days, weeks, and months that followed.
"It was the worst possible day imaginable, and in some ways, a remarkable day, too, in the way in which people responded," says David Paine, cofounder of myGoodDeed.org. "We need to rekindle the way we came together in the spirit of 9/11: It would be almost as much a tragedy to lose that lesson."
Sept. 11 has inspired dozens of philanthropic efforts – from groups dedicated to building memorials to foundations designed to improve education in the Middle East. But myGoodDeed has a more universal goal: to turn 9/11 into a day dedicated to doing good – from small, simple things like Lisa Scheive's pledge to help stranded turtles cross the road in Pompano Beach, Fla., to lifesaving efforts, such as John Feal's decision in New York to donate one of his kidneys to help a seriously ill 9/11 worker.
The idea has been endorsed by members of Congress, and at myGoodDeed's urging, President Bush for the first time this year included a call for volunteering in his annual 9/11 proclamation.
After major disasters, Americans have historically tapped a deep reserve of compassion and reached out to others. But in the months and years that follow, those compassionate and civic urges tend to recede. Studies at Harvard's Saguaro Seminar on Civic Engagement in America found that in as few as five months after 9/11, most Americans had gone back to their daily lives and were not more engaged as they said they'd hoped to be. Part of the goal of turning 9/11 into a national day of service is to remind Americans of the inherent joy of giving and to hopefully spur volunteering and charitable acts throughout the year.
"I don't know of any research that's been done on one day of service, but studies have shown that people who do volunteering in high school are more likely to volunteer throughout their lives," says Thomas Sander, executive director of the Saguaro Seminar.
The idea of turning 9/11 into a day of service, charity, and good deeds came from the family and friends of one man: Glenn Winuk, a volunteer fireman and lawyer who worked a block and a half from the World Trade Center. After he helped evacuate his Broadway law offices, he grabbed a medic's bag and ran toward the smoke pouring from the South Tower. That's where his remains were found after the towers fell. Mr. Paine and Glenn's brother Jay had been friends for years. They decided that turning 9/11 into a day of service was best way to memorialize Glenn.
"It completely reflects the way my brother lived his life, and it also specifically reflects how he died," says Mr. Winuk, myGoodDeed.org cofounder. "He laid his life on the line for other people that day."
In 2002, Paine and Winuk sent e-mails to friends and family and suggested they do a good deed, such as donate a day's pay on 9/11. Then the idea evolved, and they founded myGoodDeed.org. In 2004, 100,000 visited their website and pledged to do a good deed on 9/11. This year, those pledging number more than 250,000.
"A lot of people don't know what to do on 9/11," says Paine. "This hits people in their heart and their soul. It connects with something that's fundamental."
That would be a big fat no. Now, before you start wondering how I will make it through the day, let me tell you: Provigil. It's a drug that keeps me awake and I only use it as necessary. Plus, I slept a lot yesterday, so I will make it through.
Wish me luck!!!
Why yes, yes it is. I have now watched...hmmmm, 4 episodes of Grey's Anatomy. I'm on the one where Meredith "dies" and wakes up to Jeffrey Dean Morgan and Kyle Chandler. Hell, I'd want to stay dead too. They're hot!!
Nervous about the job? Why, because I've been off of work for 8 months and have become used to the idea that I can close off the world whenever I need to do so......yeah.
Coach is pissing me off. Why are so many men out there such cowards? I seriously don't get it. It's not that difficult.
And now I'm hungry.
~ Anais Nin
And Coach is backpedaling again. UGH!! Am I surprised? Yes, I actually am. Should I be? No. He admits that he is scared. You know what? Life is scary. Why is this always a surprise? The only sure thing in life is that if you're born, you're going to die, and for the most part, you don't get to choose when or how. So that is something we wake up and face every single day, but you are scared of THIS????
So he is scared, scared to put himself on the line, scared to commit to his feelings and to me. You know what, I hadn't asked for that. Even though we were making the decision to be exclusive, it didn't mean to me that we were boyfriend and girlfriend or that there was this set path now.
So, I told him, fine, we'll go back to what we were and not be exclusive. He said, no I don't want to date others. I said, well, I am going to keep my options open while you are figuring out your stuff. <insert sickeningly sweet smile and tone here>
He'll come back around, I know he will. But I won't be sitting here, waiting. He'll have to come and find me if he wants time.
Oh BOY-oys.......
~ Andy Warhol
Ohhhh Fitzwilliam, you are such a pretty pretty package. But inside, even without knowing you that well, I know that you are the same as what I've had before. The truth is, you are NETboy, The Sergeant, and even eHarmony Guy, just packaged in an enticing manner. True, you can be charming. True, you need rescued, and I often cannot resist that; nay, I embrace it. True, you are the best looking man I've ever had chase after me.
However, I know that choosing you would be a return to a path that has only led to heartache and sadness for me. Women are not taught to put themselves first; we are taught that we must do everything for everyone else and then AND ONLY THEN are you allowed to take any consideration for your own feelings or needs. And especially, when you are a woman who has been abused, you will do anything to not focus on yourself. You will also do anything to save someone, as in a way, you are also saving yourself - or at least making up for some sort of deficiency that doesn't truly exist.
So, Fitzwilliam, I choose to close the door to you. I choose to say, this is too much for me to take on; I cannot save you; I cannot be go-with guy on your trip downward, either. I am choosing myself and my own safety and happiness.
And you, Gentle Man that I met today for a quick breakfast date, as it was set up before Coach and I decided to become exclusive (and I felt guilty for having to change it 4 times): You are on a dating website.....but still married. You assure me that the marriage is over and has been....but you are paying for her condo and remaining married to her due to immigration law as you don't want her to leave the country with your child. While I appreciate your interest and truly believe that you, like me, have too big of a heart in some cases, I cannot put myself in yet another situation where I am waiting for your marriage to be over. eHarmony Guy and NETboy taught me that even when they SAY the marriage is over, even when you're living apart from that person.....it's not over until it's legally over.
You could be apart from this person for 2 days or 2 years and until the judge signs the papers, you will not go through the final mourning period. And because of this, you should not date until the ink is dry. I've been through it with 2 different men and I will not go through it again, as no matter what, I am the one who gets hurt. So, while I appreciate that you are very interested, while I appreciate that you do have some great qualities (for one thing, you have your own home and money!!), I am not going to step into a relationship with someone who isn't finished with his last relationship. I am choosing myself and my own safety and happiness.
| Chinese Zodiac | |||||||||||||||||||
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Well, I am officially employed. Law Firm #2 gave me the official offer today. :-) I am very excited. I start Monday, most likely, although there is a chance that I will have to wait until 9/24.
I really love the people already and just cannot wait to be a part of this group. :-)
Awwwwwwwww. Had a wonderful date with Coach tonight. Very sweet, very romantic. He is such a good guy. I really love his personality. He is so giving. I think that because he is a teacher and coach, his personality meshes well with mine. We have decided to be exclusive and not date others. In truth, we've been doing that all along, but just felt like it was time to define something. That doesn't mean that everything is defined, that we're using certain terminology like boyfriend or girlfriend. I still like that most of our relationship is undefined. I love that, actually.
But, we both know that we want to spend time together, that we are dedicated to each other at this point and time. This does not mean that we are moving in together, that we are combining finances <shudders> or getting engaged. It just means that we prefer each other at this point.
I am very happy and satisfied tonight. :-)
~ Carol in Peter's Friends
So, yesterday I ventured out to try and accomplish that last part of the paperwork for the Army position. Again, in case the law firm job falls through (as I don't have an official offer from them yet), I am continuing on with the Army position. I had completed the rest of the paperwork over the weekend and emailed it to the employment agency.
So, I head out first to the NoRo PoPo (yes, I love saying that). I have to get 2 sets of fingerprints done, even though I have already put my fingerprints on file because of law school. Well, on the way to the NoRo PoPo, there is an accident on the main road.
My 2 lanes of traffic are completely blocked off; there is only one lane of traffic that comes in the opposite direction. Traffic is still coming toward me. There are 2 NoRo PoPos, not paying attention to any of the traffic. Everything is cleared up, from what I can tell, as there are no damaged vehicles or anything left. So, I patiently wait for the opposing traffic to clear. I look at the officers for guidance, but they are not paying attention to me.
I sit for a few more minutes and then I decide that it's okay for me to venture up the hill. Apparently, it was not okay, as when I reach the officers, they start screaming at me. I'm not kidding - Wawa, you will remember this as the STOP MAN episode of our earlier lives. Anyway, I roll down the window and calmly say, yes?
Officers: How dare you drive left of center??? What are you doing??? Are you stupid???
Me: Ummm, I have no idea what is going on and I just turned out of my apartment complex and didn't know that this was blocked off...
Officers: You need to turn around!!!! Turn around now!!!!
Me: Okay, but where? There are orange cones to my right and no driveways here.
Officers: Turn around now!!!!!
So, I have to back up about 40 ft, trying not to hit pylons, pull into a driveway, and turn around. I start back down toward the other end of the main road and see a police officer blocking traffic that way.....about a mile from where I enter the road, which is why I didn't know it was closed.
So, I roll down the window and sweetly say to this officer, who are those officers up there ? He patiently explains that he doesn't know, but that the road is close, blah blah blah. He tells me an alternate route and I resume my way to the NoRo PoPo station. And yes, I am seething.
I get in there only to find out, no fingerprinting there any longer. You have to go to the BMV. Greeeeaaat. Then I politely say, I need to file a complaint against some officers.
The supervisor comes out and I very politely say, I'm so sorry, Supervisor Guy, to take you away from your job for something that probably seems so insignificant. And I tell him the story.
Me: However, I'm sure that you don't want the NoRo PoPo represented in such a way. I mean, isn't your job tough enough without disgruntled residents? In the 17 years that I lived in Columbus, no Columbus police officer ever treated me this way. And let's face it, they have more to worry about then the NoRo PoPo and they're still more polite. And I went to law school, so I have a special respect for officers.
Supervisor Guy: You're right, I don't want to be represented this way. I will talk to them.
Now, maybe he will, maybe he won't. But I left and the only thing that stopped me from rolling down the window on my way back through and saying, I just had a nice chat with your boss was the fact that there were more police then. Jora speculated that once I was in the station, the call was put out to protect them. Lol.
Anyway, I decide that I should go to the BMV. This is where I have to say, I hate the public. Outside of it, about 10 people are smoking. Yes, let's make EVERYONE walk through your smoke. Then, I get inside and find out that I am at the right place. Yay!!! But when I get up to the person whom can help me, I don't have the necessary information. You see, only certain locations do BCI fingerprinting and others do FBI fingerprinting. Oh, and it's now all digital, so I can't take the cards with me and mail them on my own. So not only did I not bring the address, I can't stand there and call and get the information in 5 seconds flat. I would have to give up my place in line.
BTW, I have looked EVERYWHERE online and NOWHERE does it say any of this!!
Frustrated, I leave. Then I hit Cracker Barrel for some lunch/dinner. So, I head to a Concentra office to get my drug test, which is a hair pull, done. This again requires me to be with the public and by the time I leave - an hour and a half later - I feel the need for a shower.
I email the employment agency guy and very sweetly say, JFC, can't my FBI fingerprints just be pulled?????
I ended up being the one to backpedal, for the first time with Coach. But he took it in stride and actually responded very well to my accidental declaration. He kind of ran with it and we've sort of reached a new level in our relationship. Wow.
Even if this relationship never goes beyond what it is today, I have learned so much about the normal stages of a relationship and the beauty of taking things slowly. I truly appreciate that.
~ Madeleine L'Engle
Or, dammit dammit dammit!!
I have always ALWAYS had the upper hand with Coach and I shot my own foot today. We have not used the L word - except to say, I like you, I really like you, blah blah blah. I know that his feelings for me are getting stronger. He admits that he finds it impossible to resist me (which is funny, because a random guy online said that he felt "pulled" to me today.)
I call him out on his shit all of the time and he's mature enough to take it in stride and respect me for saying it. We don't argue, I just poke him and say, be real. And he is.
But what did I go and do today???? I admitted something first and now I feel all vulnerable and exposed. He acts like it's making him happy, but I don't know. When he is vulnerable, he tends to hide for the next day or so.
I was tricked!! I was so tricked!!
By Tim CastleTue Sep 4, 2:34 AM ET
Rock stars -- notorious for their "crash and burn" lifestyles -- really are more likely than other people to die before reaching old age. A study of more than 1,000 mainly British and North American artists, spanning the era from Elvis Presley to rapper Eminem, found they were two to three times more likely to suffer a premature death than the general population.
Between 1956 and 2005 there were 100 deaths among the 1,064 musicians examined by researchers at the Centre for Public Health at Liverpool John Moores University.
As well as Presley, the toll of those dying before their time included Doors singer Jim Morrison, guitar hero Jimi Hendrix, T Rex star Marc Bolan and Nirvana's Kurt Cobain.
More than a quarter of all the deaths were related to drugs or alcohol abuse, said the study in the Journal of Epidemial Community Health.
"The paper clearly describes a population of rock and pop stars who are at a disproportionate risk of alcohol and drug related deaths," said Mark Bellis, lead author of the study.
He said the study raised questions about the suitability of using rock stars for public health messages such as anti-drug campaigns when their own lifestyle was so dangerous.
"In the music industry, factors such as stress, changes from popularity to obscurity, and exposure to environments where alcohol and drugs are easily available, can all contribute to substance use as well as other self-destructive behaviors," the report said.
FIRST FIVE YEARS RISK
It found that musicians were most at risk in the first five years after achieving fame, with death rates more than three times higher than normal.
Hendrix, Bon Scott of AC/DC and punk rocker Sid Vicious all died within five years of hitting the big time, said Bellis.
Among British artists the risk of dying remains high until around 25 years after their first success, when they return to near normal life expectancy.
That bodes well for rock survivors like The Who's 63-year-old Roger Daltrey, who famously first sang "I hope I die before I get old" in the song "My Generation" back in 1965.
But this trend was not found in North America, where ageing rockers remain almost twice as likely to suffer a premature demise, particularly from heart attack or stroke.
American stars Jerry Garcia of the Grateful Dead, Carl Wilson of the Beach Boys and Johnny Ramone of the Ramones all died in their 50s.
Bellis suggested that the high death rate among older American musicians could be related to the continent's greater appetite for reunion tours, exposing the artists for more years to an unhealthy "rock'n'roll" lifestyle.
It could also be due to the poor medical outlook for impoverished American ex-pop stars who have no health insurance, he said.
Fitzwilliam....well, he comes in a beautiful package. He looks like a more masculine Noah Wyle, but same adorable smile and dimples. He is intelligent and has a great sense of humor. And he is a fantastic kisser, which of course, leads me to believe.....well, anyway, he has a lot going for him. And while I am not someone who believes that looks are everything (I firmly believe that your personality determines how attractive you really are), any woman would be proud to have him at her side. He's tall, he's dark, he's handsome, and incredibly gentle.
However, he has more baggage than anyone else I've even known. In fact, I'm convinced that he is a test that God has thrown into my path as if to say, how strong are you to resist the magnetic pull of this man? He's hot, he's kind, he's funny.....but he also needs to be saved and I am trying to stay away from men like that.
The majority of his baggage is not through his own doing - he is an innocent who has been used and abused by his parents. His parents were underage when they had him. His mother abandoned him at 6mos and has not had much to do with his life since. But it is his father who did the most damage. If I go into too many details, Fitzwilliam will become recognizable, as many know the story of his father. Suffice it to say, his father was a truly evil man, who committed murder and other unspeakable acts and died in prison.
Fitzwilliam does admit to his own mistakes, especially the fact that he drove drunk one night and woke up after a 3 day coma. He has a brain injury that affects his personality....to the point where I asked him if he was bipolar. And that of course is a huge warning sign for me. I am attracted to men who need to be rescued, who need to cling to me, and I will lose a piece of myself in them. I know that I just don't have the energy for this.
In person, we have a great time together. Conversation is great, we banter, we joke. But through IM and texting, things get testy because he isn't great at communicating when not face to face. Also, he is very wary of women in general, having been abandoned by his mother. Yes, that is something with which he needs to deal.
When we're not face to face, everything in me says, let it go, you can't save him and you don't need more heartache. But when we're face to face and he smiles at me (and by the way, he is the one pursuing, the one who approached me first), my heart melts and I think, I have to help this man. I have to show him that women are trustworthy. I have to teach him how to be a friend. And it's not even a romantic feeling; it's a feeling that he was brought to me for a reason.
We spoke last night and I told him that I would be his friend and that I could teach him how to interact with women, so that he can meet that woman he wants to marry and with whom he can have a family. I know I can't fix him....but maybe I can mentor him and be there for him. And if I remove the romantic portion, I can help without hurting myself.
Even writing it, that feels false. I care about him a great deal already; he tugs at my heart strings because he should not be held accountable for the actions of his parents. On the other hand, he was a danger to himself when he was driving drunk. So, it probably would be best to get him completely out of my life.
Let's see, how about,
Job updates: Well, Law Firm #2 has told me that I'm their top candidate. I broke the curse of bad presentations! They loved my presentation and said it was the best one. So, I am just waiting for all of the background check to go through and the drug test to come back negative. I'm still going to go ahead and send everything in for the Army position too, just in case.
Men: Well, Coach and I are still seeing each other and I do really enjoy our relationship. We have a great deal of affection between us. I like this - we don't have to define our relationship. We just know that when we get together, we are going to have a great time, no matter what we're doing. And we have amazing chemistry in the bedroom. He actually remembers what's going on in my life - will leave me little messages wishing me good luck on an interview or such. It's so sweet.
And, he was so great when there was a very small chance that I was pregnant, and of course, it would be his. He was the first one to notice that there were some physical changes. I laughed and told him that he just wanted to see certain things, but then I started noticing them as well. He offered to come up and be with me while I took the test. I told him that was sweet, but he didn't want to be there if it were positive, as even though it takes 2 to tango, I would still blame him. So, RRK came with me while I bought and took the test and all was well. I figured that I wasn't, because there is very little chance that I can get pregnant without medical intervention due to my ovarian cysts.
I called Coach and he was actually a little disappointed. That's sweet, but as I said, people who are planning children should be further along in their relationship than Coach and I are. We don't have a definition for our relationship at the moment. We have realized that at this point, we've been together more than not, and other than our most recent exes, we have been with each other the most. That feels like some sort of commitment, although neither one of us has used that word.
He's been so cute about the Army job as well. If I take that, I have to go to SC for 3 weeks to train. And he brought it up the other day. He said, well, you know, when you go there, you are going to be surrounded by men, blah blah blah. And I said, yes, okay, point? He said, well, you're going to get hit on. I said, honey, I get hit on here, what's the difference between OH and SC? He just kept saying that I was missing the point. Oh no, I wasn't. I said, you sound jealous. He said, no, not at all. This went on for an hour. It was quite amusing.
He knows that I have reserved the right to date other men, though he knows that I won't sleep with other men. But he gets jealous when I tell him I'm going to go out with someone else. So, I keep it to myself, although I am only dating Fitzwilliam in addition to Coach.
Fitzwilliam knows about Coach, and he is not happy about that. However, Fitzwilliam....well, there's a big story there. I think I'll continue it tomorrow.
Summer CLASSES FOR MEN
Hi all,
You might have noticed that Lawgirl has created 2 new blogs. I am trying to get both of them going, but it's been kind of crazy here lately. However, I am proud to say that I did do my first review on my customer service blog.
http://youhavebeenrated.blogspot.com/
What I would love for to happen is that this will be a truly interactive blog. I want people to volunteer to write in their own reviews of customer service. It's the only way we will ever get things to be better. You can send your reviews of your customer service to me at lawgirlblogger@gmail.com. It needs to have the following information in it:
Company name
Location of service
Issue
You can use the first name of the person who assisted (or rather, didn't) you. Please try to keep to the facts and not use harsh language, as I will be passing the complaint on to the customer service department of the company.
It's been so long since I've written that I had to go back and see what was the last thing I wrote about. Forgive me as I work backward and I have to go all of the way back to last week for some updates.
Let's start with the issue with the "friends" from
