Greetings from Grand Rapids, MI!!!

Okay, I tried to make it sound exciting, but I wasn't given much to work with. Just kidding. I'm sure it's lovely, but as I arrived in the dark, I can't tell. The hotel is nice and comfy.

I am here to do some training for the new job. Looking forward to meeting folks face to face. :-)

I have more to say, but getting tired. More tomorrow. zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

New Job

Monday I start my new job. I am still working fromm home, but I'm working for my first writing client. The guy owns a web store for modern furniture. I will be doing more writing for him, as well as answering the 800 number on my cell phone and uploading information to the websites.

Pay is small for now, but should grow as the business grows. I get commissions on my sales as well. So, if you're looking for some modern furniture, check out www.thefurnitureloft.com . Soon, my descriptions and such will be on there.

So, it's a start.

Yes, I suppose I'm flaky as hell

I love NETboy. I can't help it. I can't just shut off my feelings. At the moment, I don't trust him. However, I told him that if he would go to therapy on his own and go to couples therapy with me, we could possibly work things out. Either way, it will help: It will help me get over him or it will help us heal.

Let me state this up front: I am not, NOT, going into this with false hope or anything like that. I am not going into this thinking everything will work out and that life will be perfect again. No, not true. I am simply trying to make sure that I've done what I could to make this work. That way, when it does, I can walk away with clean conscience. I felt like I was abandoning him; I don't want to feel that way again.

No, don't think that I think I can save him. However, I can be supportive. I love him; I was ready to marry him. How could I not try and support him through a dark time? I cannot save him; I can only be there for him while he's willing to try and do better.

After that, I will have to make a decision as to whether or not I can live like this. That's why I want to go to therapy with him. I want to hear how it can be from a psychiatrist; I want to hear it in front of NETboy. I want to see what solutions there are, if any. I want to make an informed decision.

Why am I doing this? Because I have never loved like this before. I have never had someone touch me and feel as though it was no different than my own touch. That's how comfortable we are together. I have never had someone understand me the way that he does. I have never been loved like this. It comes with a price; the price of fuck-ups like this one on his part. Time will tell whether or not it's a price that I can live with paying.

So yes, for now, I am trying to work out a solution with which I can live. And in the end, that's what matters.

And I'm alone again....

Well, no more NETboy. Just yesterday we went shopping for apartments in Cleveland; today he did something so horrible that I won't even mention it here. However, I will say that the damage is irreparable. I'm sure that he'll come back to being himself tomorrow or the next day and he'll come back around and ask me to take him back. However, that will never happen. I can never trust him again.

As usual, I am bracing myself for some to say, well, she did it again; won't she ever learn? My mother already did. She said, didn't you learn anything from the Sergeant? I did. NETboy exhibited none of those characteristics. He was kind and wonderful and sweet and...yeah, he was the man I thought I was going to marry. I was so sure of it. And then he turned on me. Sure, it's probably just part of his bipolar condition, but I will not go through another episode with him. I can't.

So, I exposed myself, my family, and my friends to another horrible person. I didn't know he was this person; he had never ever acted this way. But I can't help but be upset with myself about it.

I refuse to go through this again. I will not allow myself to be tricked again. I will never say never, but for now, I don't see me dating again.

Where in the world is Lawgirl?

So sorry, darlings, didn't mean to leave you for so long. It's been a busy time in Lawgirl's life.

Things are absolutely great with NETboy. We have been incredibly in sync; I can honestly say that I've never felt this way before. I am deliriously happy. I feel so lucky to have found him. Things are so great that I am planning on moving to his city at the end of April. I will miss all of my friends here, but of course will come back and visit often and you all are invited to visit us there.

So, at this point, I'm not looking for a job in town, because I will be leaving in two months. I've been so busy, I don't know what I would do with a full-time job anyway!! I have had to freelance out some of my freelancing, lol. Thank God that all of my friends are talented and many of them are talented in the area of writing.

I am still walking one dog and am also watching over 3 for a couple who are out of town on vacation this week. In addition, I'm house sitting for Wifey's parents.

And, this weekend, I finally fell prey to the creeping crud. I had to cancel a Tastefully Simple party I was having for Wifey and the girls' night we were going to have with Jora after. I am still not feeling 100 percent, but way better than yesterday.